The babysitter meets Rick Sanchez
by halehhajebian
Summary: Beth hires a babysitter for the weekend to make sure Morty focuses on school and isn't distracted by Rick while they take Summer out of town to college. The babysitter has no idea what she gets herself into when she meets the mad scientist. LEMONY AND SMUTTY
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

A blaring alarm goes off in my ear, causing me to suddenly jolt upright. I stare blankly ahead, looking right through the wall I can barely make out in my dark room, contemplating the babysitting gig I had agreed to do. Already, my eyelids begin to grow heavy. _Can I call in sick? Should I tell them I had an emergency? Can my car break down?_ After some time of absent-minded staring, I finally pick my phone up from beside me and turn off the cursed, god forsaken noise that sucked me out of the pleasant dream I was having. Immediately after doing so, my notifications appeared on the piercingly bright screen:

Chase Account: your balance of $7.62 was less than the $50.00 amount in your alerts settings.

I look back up from my screen, resuming the staring contest with my wall, annoyed. _Damn this capitalism,_ I thought irritatingly.I guess I had no choice but to follow through with this weekend's fiasco. I pick my phone up again to check the time, and my eyes suddenly widened. _Fuck, it's eight!_ I jumped out of my warm, inviting bed and rushed to turn the light on. _How long have I been staring at my wall?_ I look down with relief to see my bags sitting nicely on the floor, packed and ready from the night before. After quickly double-checking to make sure I didn't forget my contact case or solution bottle, I threw on my leggings and cotton t-shirt, shoved my vans on my feet, and left for the door. The Smiths were set to leave at eight thirty and I lived forty-five minutes away, forcing me to skip warming up my car or obeying any speed limits. Worse, it doesn't give me any time to brush my hair or fill my eyebrows in…

After some not-so-pleasant road rage and lane-swerving, I finally make the long-awaited turn into the nice, suburban neighborhood Siri had been leading me to. Slowing my car down so as not to be obvious I was running late, I lean forward against my steering wheel to quickly scan the houses ahead of me. _Cream colored house with a front-facing garage,_ I recited to myself, eyes darting back and forth. All the houses lined up proudly, beaming in different colors, all bright pastels with lush, well-kept lawns gleaming in the morning sunlight. _Typical neighborhood for a Smith family,_ I couldn't help amusingly think to myself. As soon as the thought left my mind I noticed a few people gathered outside, appearing to be a family, standing on a wide driveway in front of… _a cream colored house with a front-facing garage._ Without thinking twice, I pulled over against the curb of the driveway, slowly coming to a park, throwing a quick look to check the clock: eight thirty-one. _Not too shabby,_ I hailed to myself as I turned off my car. I step out of my car with a wide smile, trying desperately to hide the fact that I woke up thirty minutes ago.

"Hey, it's Haylee!" Mr. Smith beamed with a full-armed wave. "Say hello, kids!"

I turned to look at his family, the typical American bunch. His wife was a beautiful woman who you could tell took care of herself and enjoyed her occupation, despite the obvious signs of stress and tiredness around her eyes. Their two children, a high school graduate going to college and the other who looked to be maybe a slow-developing middle school boy, stood side by side. The young boy nervously waved at me with a half-smile, while his sister remained glued to her phone. Without looking up from her screen, the elder daughter let out a monotonous "hey," followed by a stern look from her mother.

"Summer," her mother pressed.

Summer looked up from her phone with a sarcastic enthusiasm and cheered "hey!" right before looking back at her mother annoyingly. After their little stare-off subsided, she turned back to me more genuinely, more present. "Sorry. Anyway, thanks for giving up your weekend to babysit my brother."

 _Thank you for paying me $500_. "Of course!" I chipped. "Thanks for trusting me to take care of him! He'll be in good hands."

Mr. Smith's beaming pride was then slightly obscured when a look of annoyance crossed his face. "Well, you won't be the _only_ one taking care of him. Beth's father will be here…" He paused as he shot a side-eye to his wife. "He lives here."

"Don't start, Jerry." Beth said under her breath, annoyed, without looking at her husband.

The little boy stepped forward reluctantly. "Aw, c-c'mon, guys." He pleaded. "L-let's just be happy and have a great weekend, okay?"

 _Aw,_ I thought. _What a sad, cute little kid._ "You must be Morty?" I asked with a warm smile, extending my hand to him. Morty turned to look at me with a nervous, optimistic smile, raising his frail arm to meet mine in a sturdy handshake.

"Yep, that's me," he blustered. "S-s-sorry about my parents. They disagree with each other a lot," he laughed as he scratched the back of his head with his other arm.

"You should see _my_ parents," I smiled, letting go of the handshake, attempting to alleviate the child. "Yours ain't got nothing on their crazy selves."

Morty laughed anxiously, his shoulders relaxing. "Y-yeah?" He asked. "A-at least I'm not the only one."

"Not at all!" I reassured him. "So what grade are you in, Morty? Eighth?"

Sudden laughter erupted from Summer as she buckled over, her hand on her stomach. Beth calmly lifted her hand to her mouth in an attempt to hide her smile, while Jerry chuckled. Morty flushed and folded his arms, a peeved expression taking over his face.

"Aw, man." He vexed.

"He's a sophomore in high school," Summer clarified in between laughs. "He's just really small."

 _A sophomore?_ "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!" I quickly apologized. "I'm horrible at guessing ages!" I anxiously tried to excuse, feeling horrible. _Why does a high school sophomore need a babysitter? Wouldn't that make him, like, sixteen?_

Beth seemed to notice my confused expression with a knowing, familiar look in her eyes. "Morty is very close with his grandfather," she smiled calmly. "So close in fact, that we're afraid if we leave Morty with him alone, he won't get any of his homework done. He's been behind in school for a while, and we'd like to make sure nothing distracts him from his studies."

 _So I'm really just here to make sure his grandpa doesn't distract him from his schoolwork?_ I began to ponder, but quickly brushed it off. _Eh, every family has its own issues, I guess. Either way, I'll be leaving with $500._

"Woah, would you look at the time!" Jerry exclaimed. "We gotta get rolling!"

Summer hopped into the car without saying a word. Jerry ran a quick check on the straps holding the furniture down on their car by tugging them firmly, gave it a satisfactory pat, waved Morty and I goodbye, and got into the driver's seat. Beth walked towards me to give what I guessed was a quick hug, but as soon as she leaned in, she turned her head towards my ear.

" _Please don't worry about Rick."_ She whispered. _"Just make sure Morty focuses on his studies. Call me if you need anything_." She quickly pulled back and flashed a perfect smile, switching her tone from concerned to joyous in an instant. "Have fun! You're welcome to anything in the house! Make yourself comfortable!" She turned around and hopped in the car, and a second later it began to reverse out of the driveway while Morty and I stood by the curb, waving goodbye as the car grew smaller and smaller in the distance.

 _Don't worry about Rick?_ I echoed in my head, waving as the car disappeared around the corner. _What does that mean?_

"W-well, looks like it's just us now," Morty chuckled nervously, turning towards me. "W-what do you want to do? All we have is a TV and a dog, I guess. He's pretty cute. N-nothing much to do, really… C'mon, I'll show you around the house." He said as he turned around and began to walk inside.

I followed behind him, taking note of how neat their walkway was kept. Everything was so… perfect. What could possibly be the issue? We stepped through the front door, and I was immediately met with the irresistible smell of clean, shampooed carpet. It was a cute, classic entrance, as if this were an open house advertised on a magazine spread for suburban living. There was a coat rack right next to the door, a staircase right across from it, a polished entryway table with small picture frames and glass bowls to hold various keys and knick-knacks, a clean wooden foyer met with smooth, freshly vacuumed carpet at the start of the living room, and bright, peach colored walls. It was a house straight out of a sitcom. As I was admiring the interior décor, a sudden ear-splitting, blistering crash screeched through the house, shaking the walls. I screamed instantaneously, thinking it was a bomb or an earthquake, and instinctively fell to the floor, holding on to anything I could find. _Oh my god,_ I panicked. _What was that?_ The rumbling gradually subsided until the house was completely silent again. I shot a look over at Morty. He was bewilderingly calm, not frazzled in the slightest, with even a somewhat annoyed gleam in his eye. _What the hell…?_ Not a moment later, the sound of a door opening before slamming shut again somewhere around the corner broke the silence, followed by footsteps approaching us.

"E-everything's fine!" A man's rough, scratchy voice boomed as it grew closer. "Nothing to worry about! The coagulator just—"

He cut off. Complete silence. I slowly start to look up to find that right in front of me was a pair of black, stained, worn out shoes surrounded by the bottom of a white lab coat that was riddled with dust. I hesitatingly moved my eyes upwards to discover a long, lanky body of an older man towering over me until I was finally met with a pair of cold, dark, piercing, emotionless eyes completely shadowed by thick, dismal, furrowed brows. I froze. A sudden cold shudder enveloped me. Everything was frozen. I was paralyzed, on the floor, cowered underneath the clandestine eyes that stared me down in a scowling glare. I couldn't seem to escape them as they held my eyes locked, wide, and gaping sheepishly. I was freed when his eyes suddenly rolled.

"Aw shit, I forgot Beth hired a— _burp—_ babysitter." He blurted before quickly turning around, lab coat swinging behind him as he disappeared around the corner, his footsteps fading until the door opened and slammed once again, leaving the house completely silent.I remained frozen on the floor, unmoving.

 _What…_

Just then, a small, open hand extended in front of me.

"D-d-don't worry," Morty smiled feebly, helping me up. "Grandpa Rick does a lot of s-s-science and stuff; you get used to it. He doesn't bother anyone. Let's watch TV?"

I stared blankly at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Strange, blobby cartoons bounced back and forth on the medium-sized TV screen as I stared, slumped on the family couch, eyes wide open and unblinking, spaced out. I had no idea what was going on in this show, didn't have a clue as to what was being said, what happened or what the plot was, and wasn't paying attention. Morty, sitting next to me, was enjoying whatever it we were watching. He chuckled every five minutes… I think. It was hard to tell, for I was completely zoning and had drowned out everything around me. All I could picture in my mind was that man in the garage, who was in the same house as I was in, under the same roof, living where I was going to be sleeping for the weekend. Morty had tried his absolute best to assure me that he was harmless and that nothing bad would happen; but, taking into consideration how I thought I was going to die just an hour ago, it didn't exactly convince me. I continued to sit on the couch until reality finally started creeping into my conscience.

"Hey Morty, don't you have to study or something?"

"Yeah," he said without hesitation, as if he had forgotten and was pleasantly reminded. "I better get going."

He got up, set the remote down next to me, and headed for the stairs. I watched him climb the staircase until he disappeared from sight and I heard his footsteps fade away overhead, followed by his door opening and closing. I reached for the remote and turned off the strange blobby creatures bouncing back and forth on the TV, whatever it was. Once again, silence. I reached in my pocket to take out my phone, immediately tapping both thumbs on the screen madly, writing a paragraph to send my best friend about my morning. The third sentence in, I realized the house wasn't _completely_ quiet. I held my breath in order to try making out what the faint noise was, as it didn't sound like an air conditioning unit. It was a barely detectable high pitched noise—a whirring of some sort. I turned my head towards where the sound was coming from, and immediately stopped when I realized where the origin of the noise was: the garage. I quickly twisted my head back around and stared at the black TV screen, as if it was still on.

 _What do I do now…?_

After a brief debate within my mind, I decided to pretend I was getting water from the kitchen, right next to the garage door, just to see if I could hear anything. Getting up from the couch felt like climbing out of a pool: forced, heavy, slow, and cold as soon as you're up. When I approached the refrigerator, I realized I didn't even grab a glass. I tried shaking off my apprehension while reaching for the cupboard. _Why am I so nervous? It's not like he's going to do anything._ After a few deep breaths I finally made it to my pretend destination; my glass slowly filled with water as the sound of the dispenser drowned out the whirring noise coming from right next to me. After my glass was full, I pulled back and began to slowly inch towards Rick's door, slowly sipping out of my cup. The whirring grew louder and more clear—which turned out to be a mix of whirs, sparks, and gears grinding—but there was something else in the midst of the noise that I couldn't quite make out. Another noise, a living thing's noise, but not… human, exactly. Before I knew it, I was standing by the door, and I could feel it vibrating right in front of my nose. The strange noise slowly started to clear up a little, but was still unintelligible. I moved even closer and turned my head to press my ear against the vibrating wooden barrier standing in between me and the madman. The noise was finally coherent.

" _Murfma tomeshbrog slemlag mrefsh."_

"Shut up, you lost your rights when you— _burp_ —reached for my portal gun!"

" _SHMURG RELFSH SLEMBLUL!"_

"Try me, bitch!"

At this point both of my hands were flatly pressed on either side of my head, my face pressed hard against the door, my ear completely cupped against the wood, my glass prop on the floor next to me. _What the hell is that?_ I heard some metal clanking before a loud grunt, and not a moment later, an ear-splitting _PEW_ fired on the other side of the door, followed by a bellowing gargle of agonizing pain. The sound of something heavy slammed on the floor, shaking the door hinge.

"Useless." Rick's voice said solemnly.

Before I was even able to blink, the door swung open faster than I could process. I sucked in a stuttered gasp and froze, horror shooting down my spine. Rick stood over me, making me feel tiny again. There was a slimy, green fluid splattered all over his shirt, coat, and half of his face. Behind him laid a large, grotesque, malformed, green and yellow… creature. It was lying, dead, in a puddle of green, mucky fluid. Rick's eyes widened with a steadily growing ferocity.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

My brain continued to stutter. "I-I-I-I-I heard something and—"

"And that gave you the idea that you could eavesdrop at a stranger's house, w-w-with your ear all pressed against the door like a— _burp_ —creep?"

I felt my face burn. My ears started to feel completely hot. _I'm fucked…_

Suddenly, Rick grabbed my arm and yanked me into his garage, whisking my head back. He shut the door behind him. "You've seen too much," he grumbled as he sat me down on a chair, right next to the rancid corpse beginning to smolder the room.

"What?"

"D-do you want me to say it again? Did you not hear?" He mocked. "You saw too much. Now I have to erase the last ten minutes of your— _burp_ —memory. I haven't had to do this in years, so I'll have to make a new neuro-cleanser."

 _What the actual fuck?_ I immediately got out of the chair. "Erase my memory? What is this, Men in Black? No!"

He let out an amused grunt. "Hah," he looked at me with a snide gleam in his eye, hunching over his table full of wires and gadgets. "The men in black are child's play. I would know—I've met them."

My eyes squinted in utter disbelief. "Who are you? What the hell is that thing? What's going on?"

"I'm Rick Sanchez of C-137, that's an alien that tried to cross me, now it's dead, I travel between dimensions, now sit down, I'm almost— _burp_ —done."

I laughed loudly, obnoxiously, and only then realized there was anxiety saturated in my voice.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, you're frankly insane… But you're not going to do _anything_ to me," I huffed and got out of the chair, starting for the door, walking as fast as I could.

I felt a hand firmly wrap tightly around my wrist and pull me so suddenly that I began to fall backwards. I shut my eyes tightly and embraced for impact, but the floor never hit. I opened my eyes again and realized an arm was firmly across my back, holding me up, while another was hooked under my knees, keeping me stable. Before I was able to turn my head, I was swooped back on the chair, and promptly met with Velcro straps around my wrists and ankles, tying me down.

"L-look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I want this to be over with just as much as you do, okay?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound was made. _What's happening?_

Rick spun around and reached for his table, picking up the foreign object he was making. He then turned towards me again, his thumb hovering over the white button, pointing it at my head. "You're going to wake up on the couch remembering that you heard something, but you won't, and you'll be confused for a while, but everything will go on as— _burp_ —normal."

I finally forced the words out of my mouth.

"I'M GOING TO CALL BETH AND TELL HER YOU ALMOST DESTROYED THE HOUSE."

His eyes shot wide open, maliciously. I continued.

"So either you have to remake that thing to erase the entire day from my mind, during which I'll scream at the top of my lungs until Morty hears me, or you are going to let me go and we can agree like adults that I will not tell anyone of what I've seen." I stared right back into his ferocious eyes, unwavering, unafraid. I didn't blink once.

He relaxed suddenly, as if a switch had been turned, and he lowered his arm and removed his thumb from the button.

"W-whatever. Go."

My heart jumped, but I suppressed any visible indication of my excitement and relief. I had to remain cool.

"Are you going to untie me? Or am I going to hop this chair out of here? Like…" I trailed off and gave him the bitchiest look I was capable of.

He rolled his eyes. "L-looks like we got a— _burp_ —smartass." He bent over and began to unwind the straps on my wrists, giving me cold sensations every time our skin made contact.

 _For someone who's constantly working, he's awfully cold…_

He moved down to my ankles. His hands wrapped around them as he pulled apart the straps, his head mere inches from my knees. When he moved to the other ankle, I felt the tips of his unruly, wild hair brush across my shin, and shivers were sent down my spine.

 _No, no, no, don't get goosebumps, Haylee!_

"Well aren't _you_ sensitive," Rick looked up at me, his eyes suddenly sly and humorous. It was the first time I've seen them this warm.

 _Damn it._ My face burned, and I knew it was flushing a deep red. _Fuck my life_.

He paused and turned his head to look at the memory-erasing machine on his table. He looked at it for a while before looking back at me, a sudden cunning, devious look coming across his face. My eyes widened and locked in on his, trapped once again. He then continued what he was doing. He unwound the last ankle strap and then stood up, took a step back, and opened his palms, gesturing towards the door. I was completely free to leave…

After a few seconds, he raised an eyebrow.

 _Why aren't I getting up?_


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

"Y-y-you know you're free to go, right? The straps are undone." Rick insinuated with his eyebrow still raised.

I blinked once, immediately being brought back to reality with the coarseness of his voice. I stood up and motioned dusting myself off, although there was no dust, I quickly realized. Perhaps for dramatic effect; or perhaps one of the symptoms of being a theater student. Either way, I hoped Rick didn't notice.

"Why did you look at the remote like that before turning back to me?" I asked hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" He asked, perplexed. I couldn't tell if his perplexity was genuine or an act.

"Never mind," I blurted, heading for the door.

I reached the door and turned the knob, immediately being met with refreshing air conditioning and a pristine, quiet kitchen. It seemed like an entirely different world outside of Rick's garage. I swung the door shut behind me and began walking towards the couch, but never actually heard the door close. I turned around and sure enough, Rick had stuck his arm out and held the door open from the garage. His eyes watched me intently, almost suspiciously, as he took a flask out from under his coat pocket and swigged, his eyes never moving nor blinking. I returned the suspicious look, but with dramatic effect and a splash of sarcasm.

"Is something wrong?"

His expression didn't change, nor did the intensity of his gaze.

"Nope." He answered.

"Okay…" I said slowly, accenting the O. I decided to ignore him and went for the couch, where my phone was. When I sat down and picked it up, Rick suddenly appeared in my peripheral, sitting on the recliner next to the couch. _What the hell? I didn't even hear him…_

"May I help you?" I turned to Rick.

"Don't mind me. I'm just making sure you're not _texting_ anyone." He said with a suspecting glare.

"I told you I wasn't going to tell anybody," I reminded him.

He leaned back and reclined the chair, his black shoes rising on the footrest, eyes still watching me closely.

"Sure you did, but I know you— _burp_ —teenagers. I have a granddaughter your age, remember?" He said through squinted, accusing eyes.

"Summer? Isn't she eighteen?"

"What, and you're not?" He shot with his eyes still squinted.

"I'm twenty-five, thank you very much."

His eyes widened and his mouth pursed for a moment before his face settled in annoyance and finally turned away, looking forward at the blank TV.

"Well. Wasn't expecting— _burp_ —that." He finally said with an emotionless face as he took a swig.

"I'm fairly used to it. I guess I'll appreciate it later, eh?" I joked, attempting get a laugh or at least a smile. He side-eyed me.

"Whatever." He took another swig.

"Do you by any chance… have more of that stuff?" I asked with an apprehensive smile, pointing at his flask. I could feel myself blushing.

He looked at me for a long time, eyes squinting again, as if he was deep in thought pondering the situation.

"Aren't you supposed to be babysitting? T-t-that's a bit irresponsible, don't you think?" He asked, testing me.

"Morty's doing his homework, like he should be. I mean, he's sixteen," I said with a nervous laugh. "I'm really only here to make sure you don't distract him, according to Ms. Beth. Maybe we could ease up this tension between us and loosen up a bit?"

"W-whatever," he muttered and stood up, walking towards the garage.

I watched him disappear behind the door and turned to my phone. Intending to keep my promise, I erased the text I was working on prior to my encounter in the garage, and began a new message:

Oh my God I think I'm about to drink with this kid's grandpa.

I hit send. As soon as I did, I realized my phone's sound was left on loud and the " _whoop_ " sound as my text was delivered echoed in the living room, at the highest volume, as Rick was returning. My eyes widened as I quickly looked at Rick, whose expression flashed into a scowl, the ferocity behind his eyes returning.

"I didn't tell anyone!" I immediately explained, slightly panicked. "Look!"

I held my phone up to his face, slightly flushing at the fact that I had to show a stranger my phone.

His eyes locked in on the phone screen in front of him, his eyes quickly darting back and forth examining my evidence. He then looked directly at me, a sudden amused look on his face, taking me back unexpectedly.

"Drinking with the grandpa," he snickered, slightly entertained. "T-t-that makes me sound a bit idiosyncratic, don't you think?"

I flushed even deeper.

"N-n-not at all!" I exclaimed. "If anything, it makes you sound super cool, and like, hip! You know?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Or an old man with an alcohol problem," he said as he walked around and sat back down on the recliner, taking his flask out. "Which— _burp_ —I am." He took a swig, and as he was doing so, reached under his coat and took out another flask. He paused after he was done taking his gulp, holding both flasks closely to his sides.

"Just to make sure no fast ones are pulled, I need to see ID."

"Oh, sure!" I agreed immediately.

He didn't want to take any chances, and I completely understood. I reached for my phone and slid the card out of the pocket attached to it, and confidently handed it to Rick. He took it out of my hand and immediately pulled a gadget out from under his coat, holding it up against my ID. A sequence of high pitched beeps ensued for a while, ending with one long beep before it went silent again.

"Alright," he declared, tucking the gadget back in his coat pocket. He handed over both my ID and the flask. "B-b-by the way, this isn't your _regular_ liquor. This is a drink _I_ made, that people throughout the entire galaxy would kill for. A lightweight would probably die after drinking one of these, so take _that_ and run with it." He took a swig.

I opened the flask and sniffed. Immediately, an overwhelming force rocked my head, causing me to actually lean back and hold it up, away from my nose.

"Oh my God," I murmured.

A chortle escaped from Rick. He took another swig as I stared at him. _How much does he drink? How is this old guy even still alive?_

"You've got quite the liver," I noted.

"Hardest working liver in the galaxy," he huffed. "Believe it or not, it's been— _burp_ —shot once. W-w-wide, gaping hole. It was in the middle of a purge." Swig.

"What? Seriously? How did you heal from that?"

"Made a healing potion. Stung like a— _burp_ —bitch." Swig.

I looked at him as he drank; slightly admiring the fact that he handles his liquor so well for someone his age, and is so effortless and fearless in the way he speaks. I looked at my flask again, and decided to go ahead and take a sip. I raised it up to my mouth and quickly chugged a gulp back, trying to be as fast as possible. It burned down my throat with an intensity like nothing I've ever experienced before, and immediately I felt an impending, unavoidable gag spewing from my throat, begging to be upchucked.

 _Oh no, don't gag, don't gag!_

As soon as I realized that there was no way to hold it back, the burning sensation suddenly vanished. Swiftly replacing it was a cool, minty freshness that soothed my entire esophagus, as if the burning never happened. My eyes widened and my mouth slightly opened in a surprised look of shock.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Rick said with a hint of pride in his voice, a smirk creeping on his face.

"I've never drank anything like this before!" I exclaimed with a smile. "This is awesome!"

I took another drink, holding in the burn until it was immediately replaced with the most soothing, chilling sensation.

"J-j-just keep track of how much you drink," he reminded me. "It would _not_ be ideal for the babysitter to— _burp_ —overdose."

I turned my head to face him, perhaps too quickly because as soon as I did, I felt the oh-so-familiar head wobble.

 _I literally took two little half shots! What the hell? I'm already buzzing?_

I looked back down at the flask I was holding, my eyesight slowly starting to glaze over, and clutched the dangerous metal container in my hands as if it were a grenade.

"Um… I'm literally already feeling the buzz and I've taken two swigs." I told him. "This is amazing."

"Best in the galaxy," he huffed.

After a few moments of silence and another shot, I finally asked him what had been on my mind.

"Is Morty involved with all of your alien activity?"

I expected tension from Rick or even for him to stiffen up a bit at the question, but he remained relaxed and didn't budge a bit. He took another swig.

"W-w-we go on a lot of intergalactic errands together."

"Why do you take him with you? Is it just because he's good company?"

"It's a lot more complicated than that," he replied, this time a little more solemnly, as he stared blankly ahead of him.

For a second, I swore I could even hear sadness in his voice, but it was too difficult to tell. I took another swig. By now it was pretty safe to say I was officially drunk. Not too drunk, but definitely not sober. I could feel my tongue loosening up and knew if I said anything now, my speech would sound slurred. I didn't care and decided to ask him more questions.

"Do you need him for something?"

He looked over at me, a slightly bemused expression on his face as an eyebrow rose.

"I— _burp_ —guess you could say it's something like that."

"Is it something maybe I could help with while I'm here, so he can work on his school stuff?"

My speech was horribly slurred. I was surprised Rick hadn't mentioned it yet.

A corner of his mouth curled upwards as he held his flask up, as if to make a toast or to clink his flask against mine.

"No. N-n-not just because that would be a bad idea, because it is; but because you wouldn't be able to camouflage my genius as well as he does."

I lifted my flask as well and clunked it against his. "Like brain waves or something? Because they're opposing?"

"And _that's_ why you wouldn't be able to." He said amusingly.

 _Oh my God, that's like, the biggest compliment ever,_ my drunken mind cheered. The scary man ended up not being so bad! I took another gulp.

"Y-y-you might want to slow down there a bit," Rick said, a bit concerned. "I don't want any— _burp_ —trouble. Beth can be scary."

"I'm fine! I've been way more— _burp_ —drunk before." As soon as I realized that I officially burped mid speech I couldn't contain my laughter. I immediately doubled over on the couch and clutched my stomach, laughing uncontrollably, tears coming from my eyes.

Rick chuckled apprehensively. "You sounded like me there for a minute."

I looked up at him, tears of laughter sitting on my cheeks as I began to wipe them off.

"I know!" I exclaimed, still laughing. "Except my speech is slurred and you're too boss for that."

I suddenly became aware of how thirsty I was, and stood up from the couch without saying anything. Immediately, I realized I stood up too quickly.

It was too late. Everything went black.


End file.
